Generational Patterns /Transferred Traumas/ Epigenetics “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly explained, “when a child loses a parent, he is not strong enough to bear the grief and sadness. Instead the child reacts with anger.“ Anger can be seen as aggression as well. The message that the child gets is also that of “If s/he really loved me s/he would have stayed. “ A young child doesn’t have a true understanding of what death or even loss through divorce means. As a result, they take these events personally.