I don’t know about you, but I am terrified of mice. At the psychology labs in school, I had a hard time being present when they were testing the intelligence of mice. One of my male friends , a medical doctor to be, kept several bottles with dead mice floating in preservatives. He took great pleasure in observing them. My glass of wine emptied very quickly when I visited him. As a college student, living in the center of Rotterdam in a typical student apartment, those little beings came to visit me. I literally ran out of my apartment and off to my boyfriend, who with his male strength courageous and courteous behavior went to buy all kind of contraptions to put in the walls in hopes of keeping those little creatures away from me. (Today he is a professor at Yale, probably not dealing with mice.) Of course many have berated me, and wonder Read More
There are many ways to raise your vibration including: thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. What about antidepressants? As a child did you listen to, or read, the story about the Emperor’s New Clothes? Fascinating, wasn’t it? Well, I found a courageous book entitled: The Emperor’s New Drugs, exploding the Antidepressant Myth. Many of you know and believe in the power of the mind and positive thinking. Also, many of you know that depressions can be part of Epigenetics, “inherited family traumas” as is so frequently evidenced in the systemic family constellation work. In one session the depression can be released, often forever. That means that conscious -and subconscious levels entangle and intertwine. You can try to be positive till you become blue in the face yet still carry, deep down inside, a sense of depressive feelings. Here’s what Irving Kirsch, PhD-psychologist, who for years had been referring his patients to Read More
Do you worry? This morning, the perfect phrase arrived in my mailbox, sent by Abraham: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want”. Boom. Excellently phrased. For years I’ve been explaining to my clients why worrying never serves you, and how it helps you to create what you don’t need. It is unintentionally drawing the wrong energy towards you. I also explain that worrying is a conscious behavior that you can choose to change, just by monitoring your thoughts… Worrying can also be a stored family habit that is embedded in the SUB consciousness. In that case, you will need to dive deeper. The biggest part our emotions derive from our subconscious. If in the past your family experienced war, or generations of persecution, then worrying about safety, life and danger became a legitimate way to deal with atrocities. The danger was real! Click on the title Read More
Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior. If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More
Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”. If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”. If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More
blame, shame In the past decades much psychotherapy was focused on blaming the parents when a child, regardless what age, had problems of thriving. In many cases, that did not contribute to more inner peace, and harmony in the family. NOW there is a common belief that when issues are arising, the blame for the problems is put on the ABSENCE of a parent. Either way, blaming does not create compassion, healing or insight, only guilt, shame and victim-hood. The absence of an abusive parent could be a bliss as well, the less violence in a child’s life, the better, right? Key of the issue is that when the CHILD is helped to heal negative experiences and is guided to learn to forgive, to be empathic and taught to LOVE and APPRECIATE him/herself really, those energies pre-pave the path to a healthy, happy and thriving personality. Every experience can be Read More
If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.