ancestors, transgenerational trauma Are you open to discover how your ancestors still might affect your behavior today? Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?) Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about. Do you realize that by living in FEAR your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited? If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge Read More
Divorce. Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties I used energy psychology tools which really helped. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.” She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences are opportunities for growth and learning that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be Read More
Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to think independently, geared towards making positive choices. It would help them to face and change hidden negative beliefs and blocks. Those blocks thwart living a fulfilling life, hinder the flow of love and success in work. Often those negative beliefs run through the family for generations. If your ancestors lived in poverty and fear of persecution, most likely you carry some patterns that are still related to those situations. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, the habit to live in fear is deeply ingrained.If you cannot sleep because your bank account is kind of empty, you think that a huge amount of money would take away your worries and you would be happy. But guess what. Many who changed from being in Read More
Loss, grief, family constellations This morning I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More
Relationships, marriage, epigenetics A deadly habits in relationships …
Gratitude In the morning I printed something in Office Max and suddenly a tiny lady came over to me and said:” sorry to bother u but I have to tell you that i see u surrounded with so much light and loving energy.” “Well, thank you” I said “I’m a therapist so I need a lot of light and loving energy!”. I was actually expecting to hear next that a dark force is coming to hurt me and all i needed to do was doing a session with her. Several “psychics” have done that before! But no, she didn’t. She said: “I printed out several pictures I made and want to give them to you. Birds represent freedom and if u are sad look at the birds and they make you happy! Their wings show us how to escape from being hurt or treated badly”. The pictures I thought they are Read More
Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”. If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”. If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More
If the Mayan’s were right in their calculations, then 12-21-12 is a magical day. They didn’t continue their calendar after this date, however we do! Though, the meaning could be the announcement of the destruction of “the old world” where people were fighting, judging, humiliating, hurting, alienating. It marks the start of a “new era”: the uplifting of consciousness to create a more compassionate world with the mass intention to focus on joy, love, authenticity, beauty, trust and healing. Whatever beliefs you may hold about this date, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the power of the positive choices everyone can make every day. Choices are like the sprouts of the seeds rooted in soil. The soil however, needs to be rich and healthy for the best results. Soil and soul differ just one letter. What they have in common is that they need to be healthy. As you Read More
If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.