Divorce. Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties I used energy psychology tools which really helped. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.” She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences are opportunities for growth and learning that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be Read More
Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”. If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”. If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More
I have seen several clients this week, beautiful, insightful conscious people who want to make the best out of their lives. Many spent tremendously much energy and effort in ‘deleting’ out of their system the hurt caused by others. Nasty remarks, selfish actions, senseless judgments, all stuff that we dont need and is put for free, uninvited on our plates. The negative energy as a result is tremendous for the receivers. Hurting others, the effect of a “closed”heart, not understanding what you are doing to others and feeling threatened by the world, seeing danger everywhere and most of all feeling a victim of live and circumstances, needs to be released. Yay! Send fear away, out of your life!
Epigenetics: Clinical psychology research has shown that traumas are stored in the limbic brain for at least 3 generations. Thoughts are energy, sub-and unconscious(ness) are energy fields. Traumas are stored there as all the collected data of the past, and are energetic substances that impact our lives and our happiness/wellbeing today. In order to really thriving and living your full potential, recognizing and healing/releasing trauma’s is imperative. Troublesome relationships can be a sign of trauma’s in the family-energy field.
YOUR own happiness! Many know this statement, and yes, they agree. However: if I ask the next question: and how do you DO that? A big silence follows… It is here where the model of Crystal Clear Communication ( Non-violent) is a great to tool to use. No, we will never find someone who will make us happy 24/7. Would be nice, right… So, we need to own everything. If we get crazy because our kids are fighting, it s not because they are doing difficult: no, it s because our needs of harmony and peace at home or in the CAR are not met. As much as we despite it, people, also kids, have the right to be authentic, and sometimes that includes having a ad mood or temper.
Balance. Think about it, everything is built up on the concept of ‘balancing’.You don’t like arrogant, snobby people? Well, the other end of the stick is insecurity…Deep down the ‘arrogants’ are missing out on a profound being at peace with them selves or with life. So, there is no balance… In the middle of the stick you’ll find self-confidence and contentedness with self and the world. Arrogance and insecurity are absence. A client in one of my couple counseling sessions lately, told me he felt insecure about many things and his wife told him often, while loving him much and very awakened on top of that, what was wrong about him, how childish he was and lacking perseverance.
If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.
This morning the Rabbi from Bnai Torah in Boca, in his sermon shared about a boy who is at the very extreme end of the Autistic spectrum.. He just had his Bar Mitzvah at the age of 16. This boy never spoke a word and when he tried to express himself, strange sounds came out of his mouth which was the energy of his intentions and thoughts. How captured can one be, never to be able to fully express and have your feelings heard? The mother dedicated her life to the wellbeing of the boy. Computer technology offered a tremendous change; he learned to express himself on the soundboard. The first sentence he wrote: “I love you Mom”. The second:” I miss you Dad.” ( His father passed). These sentences moved me deeply, knowing from nearby the lonely place where autistic people can be. How much love they need, compassion and understanding from their environment, and how hard Read More