Competition


Anger-Relationships-Family Constellations

You want to be kind. You want to have peace in your home and in your relationships. But how do you achieve that peace when you are so upset that it’s almost unbearable to express your frustration calmly and peacefully? What is happening when someone “loses it” and turns into another person? The Kabbalah teaches that when a person gets into a rage, the soul leaves temporarily. Your higher self seems not to feel comfortable with uncontrollable rage. One third of the Americans seem to walk on eggshells; fearing a partner (or child) who gets inflamed too easily. However, anger is a trigger notifying you that something isn’t right, a sort of wake-up call. That means you are invited to spend time for reflection and action. But before you take action, release the anger! One cause for anger is the way we think as the Crystal Clear Communication model explains. We project Read More


Do you like debates?

Do you enjoy watching or listening to  sharp, inspirational and intelligent debates? I do. It’s an art if it includes maintaining respect for each other. Unfortunately, when the element of competition joins the performance, lower vibrations arise. Attacking, judging, cursing, become intruding tools. Lately, the political debates and news reports have repeatedly shown how easily lack a of respect surfaces, and how easily many people have made all kind of judgments. We know a lot, but there’s a lot we do NOT know. Self-development In the world of self-development it is crucial to become aware of criticism, judgments and presumptions in order to create fulfilling relationships and happy children. Cursing at each other and criticizing frequently tends to kill love and self-esteem. Comparison If we bring elements of comparison and competition in a relationship or friendship and think or say: “I’m better than you. My family is better than you. My Read More


If you loose a parent…

Loss, grief, family constellations This morning  I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and  self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were  occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions  and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More


Do not take it personally!

Do not take it personally! Really?  No one to blame? Is it THEIR stuff? One of the tools that contributes to personal happiness is this quote from Don Miquel Ruiz: “Do not take it personally!” It is a very simple phrase that contains much wisdom. As adults we can choose to relearn communication, free of blaming, manipulation and guilt trips. We can choose to awaken and practice kindness, compassion and loving acceptance in our thoughts and behavior. We reframe our conscious mind with clarity, undo and release habitual thinking patterns stored in our Epigenetics, our “emotional DNA”, and we become aware of the energy of words. We learn to shift gears if we tell ourselves that we do not take it personally when someone brings us out of balance, hurts or blames us. On top of that we learn to honor our needs. The compassionate model of Non-violent Communication /Crystal Read More


Anxieties?

Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior.  If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More


Rejection

Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”.  If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”.  If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More


Mayan calendar. Do you think this is true?

 If the Mayan’s were right in their calculations, then 12-21-12 is a magical day. They didn’t continue their calendar after this date, however we do! Though, the meaning could be the announcement of the destruction of “the old world” where people were fighting, judging, humiliating, hurting, alienating. It marks the start of a “new era”: the uplifting of consciousness to create a more compassionate world with the mass intention to focus on joy, love, authenticity, beauty, trust and healing.   Whatever beliefs you may hold about this date, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the power of the positive choices everyone can make every day. Choices are like the sprouts of the seeds rooted in soil. The soil however, needs to be rich and healthy for the best results. Soil and soul differ just one letter. What they have in common is that they need to be healthy. As you Read More


How to get your needs met without getting angry?

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If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.