Conscious, Heartbased Parenting


Do you worry?

Do you worry? This morning, the perfect phrase arrived in my mailbox, sent by Abraham: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want”. Boom. Excellently phrased. For years I’ve been explaining to my clients why worrying never serves you, and how it helps you to create what you don’t need. It is unintentionally drawing the wrong energy towards you. I also explain that worrying is a conscious behavior that you can choose to change, just by monitoring your thoughts… Worrying can also be a stored family habit that is embedded in the SUB consciousness. In that case, you will need to dive deeper. The biggest part our emotions derive from our subconscious. If in the past your family experienced war, or generations of persecution, then worrying about safety, life and danger became a legitimate way to deal with atrocities. The danger was real! Click on the title Read More


Ancestors can still influence you today.

ancestors, transgenerational trauma Are you open to discover how your ancestors still might affect your behavior today? Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?) Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about. Do you realize that by living in  FEAR  your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited? If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge Read More


Alicia, a Family Constellation

Alicia. Family Constellations “I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”. Alicia had come “to set up a family constellation” in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said. “Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”. She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed. In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away Read More


Fear of what if…

Fear of what if… Our family experiences and burdens determine our lives today. Clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the limbic brain for about three to seven generations. How many people do you know who really thrive, feel successful and live in a harmonious family? Often it is just about surviving in life. The baggage we carry we cannot get rid of easily either. YOU want to make changes, but how? Many people raise their children based on fear, the fear of: “What if…” But we cannot control what will happen. We cannot control others without their compliance either.  The world is dangerous and always has been, we just know more about it. Today, kids barely play outdoors anymore, though free play is extremely important for a balanced development. Schools are overwhelmingly large, often there is no recess, directive not interactive  teaching and create, in general a lot Read More


If you loose a parent…

Loss, grief, family constellations This morning  I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and  self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were  occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions  and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More


A deadly habit in relationships…

Relationships, marriage, epigenetics   A deadly habits in relationships …  


Do not take it personally!

Do not take it personally! Really?  No one to blame? Is it THEIR stuff? One of the tools that contributes to personal happiness is this quote from Don Miquel Ruiz: “Do not take it personally!” It is a very simple phrase that contains much wisdom. As adults we can choose to relearn communication, free of blaming, manipulation and guilt trips. We can choose to awaken and practice kindness, compassion and loving acceptance in our thoughts and behavior. We reframe our conscious mind with clarity, undo and release habitual thinking patterns stored in our Epigenetics, our “emotional DNA”, and we become aware of the energy of words. We learn to shift gears if we tell ourselves that we do not take it personally when someone brings us out of balance, hurts or blames us. On top of that we learn to honor our needs. The compassionate model of Non-violent Communication /Crystal Read More


The Joy of Siblings.

Siblings, Family relationships, family constellations Siblings… Just came back from teaching in college an experiential workshop “Unlock the Hidden Wisdom of your Energy-fields”. A theme that was brought up by one of the students “J”: “sibling rivalry and jealousy”. The relationship between J and her sister was burdened by negativity and the youngest, J, indicated she wanted to have a happier relationship with her only sibling. She has practiced forgiveness but needed more work to do, she suggested. “J” appeared as extremely friendly and smiling a lot. She explicitly smiled when she was telling me and the group how painful it was for her. Case: Two sisters, one year apart, both now in their twenties. The youngest sister was present in my class. Parents have compared both girls a lot, the eldest did many things which were perceived as “wrong” by the parents, so they limited the younger one in Read More


Anxieties?

Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior.  If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More


Rejection

Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”.  If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”.  If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More