Family Constellations


Science behind constellation work

I don’t know about you, but I am terrified of mice. At the psychology labs in school, I had a hard time being present when they were testing the intelligence of mice. One of my male friends , a medical doctor to be, kept several bottles with dead mice floating in preservatives. He took great pleasure in observing them. My glass of wine emptied very quickly when I visited him. As a college student, living in the center of Rotterdam in a typical student apartment, those little beings came to visit me. I literally ran out of my apartment and off to my boyfriend, who with his male strength courageous and courteous behavior went to buy all kind of contraptions to put in the walls in hopes of keeping those little creatures away from me. (Today he is a professor at Yale, probably not dealing with mice.) Of course many have berated me, and wonder Read More


The Emperor’s New Drugs-Antidepressants

There are many ways to raise your vibration including: thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. What about antidepressants? As a child did you listen to, or read, the story about the Emperor’s New Clothes? Fascinating, wasn’t it? Well, I found a courageous book entitled: The Emperor’s New Drugs, exploding the Antidepressant Myth. Many of you know and believe in the power of the mind and positive thinking. Also, many of you know  that depressions can be part of Epigenetics, “inherited family traumas” as is so frequently evidenced in the systemic family constellation work. In one session the depression can be released, often forever. That means that conscious -and subconscious levels entangle and intertwine. You can try to be positive till you become blue in the face yet still carry, deep down inside, a sense of depressive feelings. Here’s what Irving Kirsch, PhD-psychologist, who for years had been referring his patients to Read More


Do you worry?

Do you worry? This morning, the perfect phrase arrived in my mailbox, sent by Abraham: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want”. Boom. Excellently phrased. For years I’ve been explaining to my clients why worrying never serves you, and how it helps you to create what you don’t need. It is unintentionally drawing the wrong energy towards you. I also explain that worrying is a conscious behavior that you can choose to change, just by monitoring your thoughts… Worrying can also be a stored family habit that is embedded in the SUB consciousness. In that case, you will need to dive deeper. The biggest part our emotions derive from our subconscious. If in the past your family experienced war, or generations of persecution, then worrying about safety, life and danger became a legitimate way to deal with atrocities. The danger was real! Click on the title Read More


Do you like debates?

Do you enjoy watching or listening to  sharp, inspirational and intelligent debates? I do. It’s an art if it includes maintaining respect for each other. Unfortunately, when the element of competition joins the performance, lower vibrations arise. Attacking, judging, cursing, become intruding tools. Lately, the political debates and news reports have repeatedly shown how easily lack a of respect surfaces, and how easily many people have made all kind of judgments. We know a lot, but there’s a lot we do NOT know. Self-development In the world of self-development it is crucial to become aware of criticism, judgments and presumptions in order to create fulfilling relationships and happy children. Cursing at each other and criticizing frequently tends to kill love and self-esteem. Comparison If we bring elements of comparison and competition in a relationship or friendship and think or say: “I’m better than you. My family is better than you. My Read More


Alicia, a Family Constellation

Alicia. Family Constellations “I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”. Alicia had come “to set up a family constellation” in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said. “Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”. She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed. In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away Read More


No label for divorce please!

Divorce. Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties  I used energy psychology tools which really helped. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship  and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.”  She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences  are opportunities for growth and  learning  that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be Read More


Empowerment for children

Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to think independently, geared towards making positive choices. It would help them to face and change hidden negative beliefs and blocks.  Those blocks thwart living a fulfilling life, hinder the flow of love and success in work. Often those negative beliefs run through the family for generations. If your ancestors lived in poverty and fear of persecution, most likely you carry some patterns that are still related to those situations. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, the habit to live in fear is deeply ingrained.If you cannot sleep because your bank account is kind of empty, you think that  a huge amount of money would take away your worries and you would be happy. But guess what. Many who changed from being in Read More


If you loose a parent…

Loss, grief, family constellations This morning  I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and  self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were  occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions  and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More