Heartbased Parenting


Anger-Relationships-Family Constellations

You want to be kind. You want to have peace in your home and in your relationships. But how do you achieve that peace when you are so upset that it’s almost unbearable to express your frustration calmly and peacefully? What is happening when someone “loses it” and turns into another person? The Kabbalah teaches that when a person gets into a rage, the soul leaves temporarily. Your higher self seems not to feel comfortable with uncontrollable rage. One third of the Americans seem to walk on eggshells; fearing a partner (or child) who gets inflamed too easily. However, anger is a trigger notifying you that something isn’t right, a sort of wake-up call. That means you are invited to spend time for reflection and action. But before you take action, release the anger! One cause for anger is the way we think as the Crystal Clear Communication model explains. We project Read More


Do you like debates?

Do you enjoy watching or listening to  sharp, inspirational and intelligent debates? I do. It’s an art if it includes maintaining respect for each other. Unfortunately, when the element of competition joins the performance, lower vibrations arise. Attacking, judging, cursing, become intruding tools. Lately, the political debates and news reports have repeatedly shown how easily lack a of respect surfaces, and how easily many people have made all kind of judgments. We know a lot, but there’s a lot we do NOT know. Self-development In the world of self-development it is crucial to become aware of criticism, judgments and presumptions in order to create fulfilling relationships and happy children. Cursing at each other and criticizing frequently tends to kill love and self-esteem. Comparison If we bring elements of comparison and competition in a relationship or friendship and think or say: “I’m better than you. My family is better than you. My Read More


Alicia, a Family Constellation

Alicia. Family Constellations “I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”. Alicia had come “to set up a family constellation” in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said. “Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”. She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed. In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away Read More


Empowerment for children

Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to think independently, geared towards making positive choices. It would help them to face and change hidden negative beliefs and blocks.  Those blocks thwart living a fulfilling life, hinder the flow of love and success in work. Often those negative beliefs run through the family for generations. If your ancestors lived in poverty and fear of persecution, most likely you carry some patterns that are still related to those situations. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, the habit to live in fear is deeply ingrained.If you cannot sleep because your bank account is kind of empty, you think that  a huge amount of money would take away your worries and you would be happy. But guess what. Many who changed from being in Read More


If you loose a parent…

Loss, grief, family constellations This morning  I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and  self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were  occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions  and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More


Gratitude for a special lady

Gratitude In the morning I printed something in Office Max and suddenly a tiny lady came over to me and said:” sorry to bother u but I have to tell you that i see u surrounded with so much light and loving energy.” “Well,  thank you” I said “I’m a therapist so I need a lot of light and loving energy!”. I was actually expecting to hear next that a dark force is coming to hurt me and all i needed to do was doing a session with her. Several “psychics” have done that before!  But no, she didn’t. She said: “I printed out several pictures I made and want to give them to you. Birds represent freedom and if u are sad look at the birds and they make you happy! Their wings show us how to escape from being hurt or treated badly”. The pictures I thought they are Read More


Do not take it personally!

Do not take it personally! Really?  No one to blame? Is it THEIR stuff? One of the tools that contributes to personal happiness is this quote from Don Miquel Ruiz: “Do not take it personally!” It is a very simple phrase that contains much wisdom. As adults we can choose to relearn communication, free of blaming, manipulation and guilt trips. We can choose to awaken and practice kindness, compassion and loving acceptance in our thoughts and behavior. We reframe our conscious mind with clarity, undo and release habitual thinking patterns stored in our Epigenetics, our “emotional DNA”, and we become aware of the energy of words. We learn to shift gears if we tell ourselves that we do not take it personally when someone brings us out of balance, hurts or blames us. On top of that we learn to honor our needs. The compassionate model of Non-violent Communication /Crystal Read More


The Joy of Siblings.

Siblings, Family relationships, family constellations Siblings… Just came back from teaching in college an experiential workshop “Unlock the Hidden Wisdom of your Energy-fields”. A theme that was brought up by one of the students “J”: “sibling rivalry and jealousy”. The relationship between J and her sister was burdened by negativity and the youngest, J, indicated she wanted to have a happier relationship with her only sibling. She has practiced forgiveness but needed more work to do, she suggested. “J” appeared as extremely friendly and smiling a lot. She explicitly smiled when she was telling me and the group how painful it was for her. Case: Two sisters, one year apart, both now in their twenties. The youngest sister was present in my class. Parents have compared both girls a lot, the eldest did many things which were perceived as “wrong” by the parents, so they limited the younger one in Read More


Anxieties?

Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior.  If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More


Rejection

Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”.  If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”.  If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More