Relationships


Rejection

Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”.  If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”.  If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More


Love??? Joy???

I have seen several clients this week, beautiful, insightful conscious people who want to make the best out of their lives. Many spent tremendously much energy and effort in ‘deleting’ out of their system the hurt caused by others. Nasty remarks, selfish actions, senseless judgments, all stuff that we dont need and is put for free, uninvited on our plates. The negative energy as a result is tremendous for the receivers. Hurting others, the effect of a “closed”heart, not understanding what you are doing to others and feeling threatened by the world, seeing danger everywhere and most of all feeling a victim of live and circumstances, needs to be released. Yay! Send fear away, out of your life!


Balance…Do we need it?

Balance. Think about it, everything is built up on the concept of ‘balancing’.You don’t like arrogant, snobby people? Well, the other end of the stick is insecurity…Deep down the ‘arrogants’ are missing out on a profound being at peace with them selves or with life. So, there is no balance… In the middle of the stick you’ll find self-confidence and contentedness with self and the world.  Arrogance and insecurity are absence. A client in one of my couple counseling sessions lately, told me he felt insecure about many things and his wife told him often, while loving him much and very awakened on top of that, what was wrong about him, how childish he was and lacking perseverance.


The Adoption Triad: Soul Searching, People Searching

The Adoption Triad: Hidden Truths Behind the Happy Ending            The word adoption conjures joyful images of a new baby, dreams fulfilled and promises of a better life for baby. There are more than 1.5 million adoptees in the United States; adoption touches one in fifteen of us.  What few have had the courage to talk about until recently is that behind many “happy endings,” there are painful realities and souls in need of healing.


How to get your needs met without getting angry?

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If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.


AUTISM?

This morning the Rabbi from Bnai Torah in Boca, in his sermon shared  about  a boy  who is at the very extreme end of the Autistic spectrum.. He just had his Bar Mitzvah at the age of 16. This boy never spoke a word and when he tried to express himself, strange sounds came out of his mouth which was  the energy of his intentions and thoughts. How captured can one be, never to be able to fully express and have your feelings heard? The mother dedicated her life to the wellbeing of the boy. Computer technology offered a tremendous change; he learned to express himself on the soundboard. The first sentence he wrote: “I love you Mom”. The second:” I miss you Dad.” ( His father passed). These sentences moved me deeply, knowing from nearby  the lonely place where autistic people can be. How much love they need, compassion and understanding from their environment, and how hard Read More


To stay married?

Something is not comfortable in your marriage but you’re not sure what to do. The problem is not about how to ‘save a marriage’, it’s about how to save yourself. When fear influences your decision to get married too quickly, sooner or later you may discover that it would have been better to wait for the ‘right one’ to come along. How and when do you know it is the right one? It’s a knowing you feel deep in your heart. Remember, there are many soul-mates you can meet during your lifetime. They appear as potential partners, children, parents, friends or colleagues. The more open our heart’s are, the more easily we will be led to the right place. In doubt? STOP! Regroup, decide to resolve any thoughts of fear you have before any step is taken. And when you if you find yourself at that spot of unhappiness, insecurity and Read More


Teaching Children compassion..

 If the world would suddenly be a compassionate one, how different would it be…   The strongest desire most parents have for their children is that they will be successful in life. The true understanding of success lies in who we are, not in what we do. Finding life’s purpose and doing what makes you really happy, automatically connects you to the essence of your being, your spirit, and your source. To integrate our spirit with an unconditionally loving, trust based, energy force in our mind, heart and belief system, allows clear choices to emerge and prosperity to abound in all life’s area’s. In a world where so much confusion and anger/ violence is present, vital answers can be found in the roll of conscious parenting. It is a blessing for a child to have parents to look up to, who respect the child for who (s)he is. Give respect, Read More


’Alicia’, a Systemic Family Constellation

‘Alicia’ “ I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”.