I don’t know about you, but I am terrified of mice. At the psychology labs in school, I had a hard time being present when they were testing the intelligence of mice. One of my male friends , a medical doctor to be, kept several bottles with dead mice floating in preservatives. He took great pleasure in observing them. My glass of wine emptied very quickly when I visited him. As a college student, living in the center of Rotterdam in a typical student apartment, those little beings came to visit me. I literally ran out of my apartment and off to my boyfriend, who with his male strength courageous and courteous behavior went to buy all kind of contraptions to put in the walls in hopes of keeping those little creatures away from me. (Today he is a professor at Yale, probably not dealing with mice.) Of course many have berated me, and wonder Read More
There are many ways to raise your vibration including: thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. What about antidepressants? As a child did you listen to, or read, the story about the Emperor’s New Clothes? Fascinating, wasn’t it? Well, I found a courageous book entitled: The Emperor’s New Drugs, exploding the Antidepressant Myth. Many of you know and believe in the power of the mind and positive thinking. Also, many of you know that depressions can be part of Epigenetics, “inherited family traumas” as is so frequently evidenced in the systemic family constellation work. In one session the depression can be released, often forever. That means that conscious -and subconscious levels entangle and intertwine. You can try to be positive till you become blue in the face yet still carry, deep down inside, a sense of depressive feelings. Here’s what Irving Kirsch, PhD-psychologist, who for years had been referring his patients to Read More
Do you worry? This morning, the perfect phrase arrived in my mailbox, sent by Abraham: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want”. Boom. Excellently phrased. For years I’ve been explaining to my clients why worrying never serves you, and how it helps you to create what you don’t need. It is unintentionally drawing the wrong energy towards you. I also explain that worrying is a conscious behavior that you can choose to change, just by monitoring your thoughts… Worrying can also be a stored family habit that is embedded in the SUB consciousness. In that case, you will need to dive deeper. The biggest part our emotions derive from our subconscious. If in the past your family experienced war, or generations of persecution, then worrying about safety, life and danger became a legitimate way to deal with atrocities. The danger was real! Click on the title Read More
You want to be kind. You want to have peace in your home and in your relationships. But how do you achieve that peace when you are so upset that it’s almost unbearable to express your frustration calmly and peacefully? What is happening when someone “loses it” and turns into another person? The Kabbalah teaches that when a person gets into a rage, the soul leaves temporarily. Your higher self seems not to feel comfortable with uncontrollable rage. One third of the Americans seem to walk on eggshells; fearing a partner (or child) who gets inflamed too easily. However, anger is a trigger notifying you that something isn’t right, a sort of wake-up call. That means you are invited to spend time for reflection and action. But before you take action, release the anger! One cause for anger is the way we think as the Crystal Clear Communication model explains. We project Read More
ancestors, transgenerational trauma Are you open to discover how your ancestors still might affect your behavior today? Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?) Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about. Do you realize that by living in FEAR your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited? If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge Read More
Alicia. Family Constellations “I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”. Alicia had come “to set up a family constellation” in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said. “Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”. She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed. In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away Read More
Fear of what if… Our family experiences and burdens determine our lives today. Clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the limbic brain for about three to seven generations. How many people do you know who really thrive, feel successful and live in a harmonious family? Often it is just about surviving in life. The baggage we carry we cannot get rid of easily either. YOU want to make changes, but how? Many people raise their children based on fear, the fear of: “What if…” But we cannot control what will happen. We cannot control others without their compliance either. The world is dangerous and always has been, we just know more about it. Today, kids barely play outdoors anymore, though free play is extremely important for a balanced development. Schools are overwhelmingly large, often there is no recess, directive not interactive teaching and create, in general a lot Read More
I have never met you…When the presence of absence is felt When because of war or other disasters many family members are killed or perished, the members who survived, even though they might have never met the other members, can often feel the absence of their presence. Family Constellations show that, unexpectedly, identification can occur with one or more dead family members. We all are part of a so called ‘Family-Soul’; an intelligence that encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over several generations. Those who belong to the Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, (great-) grandparents, and anyone who has been excluded from the family system ( i.e. excluded, rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system by acknowledging and honoring them, we see that Constellations are a very effective way to restore harmony Read More
Generational Patterns /Transferred Traumas/ Epigenetics “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly explained, “when a child loses a parent, he is not strong enough to bear the grief and sadness. Instead the child reacts with anger.“ Anger can be seen as aggression as well. The message that the child gets is also that of “If s/he really loved me s/he would have stayed. “ A young child doesn’t have a true understanding of what death or even loss through divorce means. As a result, they take these events personally.
Family Constellations, Epigenetics, Transgenerational traumas, To ponder about: What could be the impact on a person who lost 80 or 100+ family members by murder, even when he or she never met them? The family has a subconscious, or collective conscious field that contains the data of life-experiences, good and bad. In addition to that, clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the Limbic brain for up to 7 generations. Did you know that world wide, in many Jewish families who somewhere are connected to what happened in the Holocaust, have a child(ren), grandchild(ren)with not explainable reasons for feelings of depression, anxieties, anger or strange illnesses. Trauma carries on, reverberates through generations. Its like negative energy that needs to be brought to peace. The soul has many faces. The method I use can help to disentangle and disconnect from that burden.