What are you choosing for the new year: intentions or resolutions? I love intentions rather than resolutions. Why? Intentions seem to be inspirational, stress-free and are connected to your soul, your core. 11 years ago, when I moved from Europe to Florida with my husband and 3 young children, I left behind a flourishing beautiful world, with many deep, loving friendships. Though I am still in touch with many, it was a huge loss to go through. To make our endeavor an enriching challenge, I set forward the intention of “only meeting wonderful people.” And I truly, truly did!!! Resolutions put you on the spot.They create stress. If you quit your newly made resolutions, you feel disappointed in yourself or powerless. How often are the failed resolutions put back on the agenda the next year? Intentions are positive motivators but without action are not worth that much. Procrastination can be Read More
Generational Patterns /Transferred Traumas/ Epigenetics “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly explained, “when a child loses a parent, he is not strong enough to bear the grief and sadness. Instead the child reacts with anger.“ Anger can be seen as aggression as well. The message that the child gets is also that of “If s/he really loved me s/he would have stayed. “ A young child doesn’t have a true understanding of what death or even loss through divorce means. As a result, they take these events personally.
Family Constellations, Epigenetics, Transgenerational traumas, To ponder about: What could be the impact on a person who lost 80 or 100+ family members by murder, even when he or she never met them? The family has a subconscious, or collective conscious field that contains the data of life-experiences, good and bad. In addition to that, clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the Limbic brain for up to 7 generations. Did you know that world wide, in many Jewish families who somewhere are connected to what happened in the Holocaust, have a child(ren), grandchild(ren)with not explainable reasons for feelings of depression, anxieties, anger or strange illnesses. Trauma carries on, reverberates through generations. Its like negative energy that needs to be brought to peace. The soul has many faces. The method I use can help to disentangle and disconnect from that burden.
Relationships, marriage, epigenetics A deadly habits in relationships …
Last night I learned about the sound of compassion. How does compassion sound? Before you start to laugh or think critically you might consider doing what Einstein did. He declared that everything is energy. Having said that, we squeeze our minds to try to imagine what that really means. It’s very abstract, right? Not easy to do in a society where validation primarily is given to the perceivable world. Anyway, very old wisdom written down in one of the books of the Zohar (Kabbalah) teaches us that the “Aaaaahhhh” sound, felt in the chest by focusing on the heart and chest, has a level of vibration that creates compassion. You just put your hand on your heart and feel it. From Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer I learned that Shaaaaahhh… is the sound of creation. So that indicates that Ahhh: “compassion” is an integral part of Shaaaahhh. To chant that sound is a great start of the Read More
Do not take it personally! Really? No one to blame? Is it THEIR stuff? One of the tools that contributes to personal happiness is this quote from Don Miquel Ruiz: “Do not take it personally!” It is a very simple phrase that contains much wisdom. As adults we can choose to relearn communication, free of blaming, manipulation and guilt trips. We can choose to awaken and practice kindness, compassion and loving acceptance in our thoughts and behavior. We reframe our conscious mind with clarity, undo and release habitual thinking patterns stored in our Epigenetics, our “emotional DNA”, and we become aware of the energy of words. We learn to shift gears if we tell ourselves that we do not take it personally when someone brings us out of balance, hurts or blames us. On top of that we learn to honor our needs. The compassionate model of Non-violent Communication /Crystal Read More
Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior. If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More
Epigenetics: Clinical psychology research has shown that traumas are stored in the limbic brain for at least 3 generations. Thoughts are energy, sub-and unconscious(ness) are energy fields. Traumas are stored there as all the collected data of the past, and are energetic substances that impact our lives and our happiness/wellbeing today. In order to really thriving and living your full potential, recognizing and healing/releasing trauma’s is imperative. Troublesome relationships can be a sign of trauma’s in the family-energy field.
YOUR own happiness! Many know this statement, and yes, they agree. However: if I ask the next question: and how do you DO that? A big silence follows… It is here where the model of Crystal Clear Communication ( Non-violent) is a great to tool to use. No, we will never find someone who will make us happy 24/7. Would be nice, right… So, we need to own everything. If we get crazy because our kids are fighting, it s not because they are doing difficult: no, it s because our needs of harmony and peace at home or in the CAR are not met. As much as we despite it, people, also kids, have the right to be authentic, and sometimes that includes having a ad mood or temper.
Balance. Think about it, everything is built up on the concept of ‘balancing’.You don’t like arrogant, snobby people? Well, the other end of the stick is insecurity…Deep down the ‘arrogants’ are missing out on a profound being at peace with them selves or with life. So, there is no balance… In the middle of the stick you’ll find self-confidence and contentedness with self and the world. Arrogance and insecurity are absence. A client in one of my couple counseling sessions lately, told me he felt insecure about many things and his wife told him often, while loving him much and very awakened on top of that, what was wrong about him, how childish he was and lacking perseverance.