“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…” When the presence of absence is felt… A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective
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“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…” When the presence of absence is felt… A Holocaust history as shown in a Family Constellation perspective.
www.CarlaVanWalsum.com Boca Raton, Florida. Family Constellations
When, because of war or other disasters, many family members are killed or perished, surviving members can often ‘feel’ their absence even though they have never met. Family Constellations show that identification can occur with one or more dead family members quite unexpectedly. We are all part of a so called ‘Family-Soul’; an intelligence which encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over the generations.
Those who belong to a particular Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, grandparents, great grandparents and so on, including anyone who has been excluded from this family system (i.e. rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system by acknowledging and honoring them, we see that Constellations are a very effective way to restore harmony in any family. Sometimes, family members who haven’t talked to each other for years suddenly call soon after a constellation.
Also, constellations can provide clarity and healing for a tremendous variety of issues in only a few minutes.
She looks at me, a bit insecurely. “I don’t know if this makes any sense to you.”
“Well, try!” I say.
Michal sighs deeply and begins to talk.” I have a strange feeling that all of the people in my family who died in the Holocaust have an influence on me today. I often feel depressed, and I don’t know why. My mother’s sister was killed in the Holocaust along with her 5 children. So are 2 brothers with their families from my father’s side. I am named after my grandmother, who perished too. The story in my family is that she was a great, wonderful person. I actually would like to look more closely into that side of my family.”
When Family Constellations begin, we start by setting up the family of origin. The client will choose people from the audience to represent their family members. They have no previous information about the client, and are requested to participate with ‘absolutely blank minds’. By doing so, a ‘morpho-genetic-field’ emerges, a field that contains the collected data of the family legacy. The miracle is that doors are opened to a hidden dimension of inner images and often unknown, unspoken issues. When scars of the past are not healed, that energy tend to reverberate to future generations. Over and over again, Constellations consistently reveal profound and lasting benefits for the participants and loved ones. Surprisingly enough, the healing processes take place on soul-level, yet the results are shown in people, even when they are not present.
“Choose representatives for you, your grandmother, the aunt with five children.”
Michal puts the aunt with her 5 children very close together. They all look down. When the grandmother is set up in front of her daughter, she becomes very unstable, her body convulses as if she is crying silently. A strong emotion is felt.
“Go to your daughter and all of your grandchildren and touch them, one by one… Michal, please do the same and look them in the eyes.” They all embrace each other in silence. “Now take your granddaughter by the hand and bow to your relatives, both of you, in front of all of them, with one bow.”
The grandmother hesitates. Continue to breathe deeply! “One deep bow. ” Michal sighs deeply, and cannot look at them. She walks away, telling she cannot look at them. I gently bring Michal back. “Please, look at them!” Michal walks back.
Grandmother and Michal bow deeply and slowly. The ro m becomes very tensed. “Now Michal, look at them and tell them ‘I am one of you’.” Michal does. “Look at them. Now straighten up, look at them very clearly, and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal is hesitating. “Say it. Look them in their eyes and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal, deeply moved, whispers: ”I’ll continue to live.”
I ask Michal to repeat after me, “I’ll carry on in memory of you. Your death was not in vain. ” Michal does n’t move, looks down and shakes her head. ”Tell them, look at them: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal shakes her head, no.
“Tell her-…It is enough that we are dead.”
“It is enough that we are dead.” Michal covers her face, cries and smiles. “Now, say it again, ‘I’ll carry on…I’ll carry on in remembrance of you, it’s enough that you are dead’.
“Look at your grandmother and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal does so. I ask the grandmother: “Do you want to tell her something?”
Grandmother whispers: “No”. To Michal: “Now stand with your back leaning against your aunt and look forward.”
“Do you have children?” Michal nods, smiles. “How many do you have?” “Five…”
”Now look at your relatives, and tell them I have five children.
Michal whispers:.. “I have also 5 children…”
The 5 children of the aunt smile and look friendly at Michal. “Now turn around again, I’ll put five representatives for your children, and place them opposite you.
“Michal, tell your children “We’ll carry on with life”. Michal covers her eyes… seems unable to speak.
”Now, go to your children”
I asked the audience if they can see how the facial expressions and energies (the representatives of) ”the dead’ are changed after this, how the energy shifted. “That is very important what we see here. The dead participate in the lives of the living, When we acknowledge them, honor them and give them a place, the dynamics shift. It is also known as kind of ‘survivors guilt’. But the burden of the loss and murdering of so many family members is very tangible and manifest itself often as depressions, strange accidents, and not being able to take life fully. “
The audience appears very moved.. a genuine touch was felt… After a Constellation the representatives automatically immediately release all that does not belong to them, what they temporary took on in order to make the invisible visible…That’s how the energy of the Morphogenetic fields, or Epigenetics, work.
The family soul has its wounds and secrets that work their way through to many future generations, when not healed. The children, by being so loyal, often take over what does not belong to them. “I take it instead of you” or “I leave instead of you ”. With these types of entanglements, love cannot flow, it can disturb our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illnesses or accidents, depression, physical or mental illness, persistent relationships conflicts and dysfunction. Constellation is also used with different phenomenons and organizations. Clinical Psychology science shows that trauma’s are stored in the limbic brain for at least 3 generations. We can conclude that to heal our pasts is imperative for a happy life.
Carla has been trained/certified with Dr Bert Hellinger in Europe, the Dutch Hellinger Institute, Academy for Eclectic Psychotherapy and with the Boston Constellation Approach. She has facilitated numerous constellations with groups and utilizes this work also in her private practice in Florida, phone sessions, privately 1 on 1, with adults and with children.
Read my chapter in Allow Your Vision to Soar!