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“I am afraid he might cheat on me…” said 20 year old Melissa, looking at me a little sad. “This is one of my anxieties” she added. “What makes you think he would do that?” “Well, it happened to me once before, and my dad did it to my mom. They are very good friends now, but they divorced because of it.” I explained Melissa that these experiences need to be healed before you are ready to enter into a new relationship. If you walk around with such fears, chances are big that you will attract a guy that will fit in that picture.
The fear in your energy field is felt, unconsciously though, by others. Such a thought can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Did your dad lose a parent in his childhood?” “His parents divorced when he was young and his step-dad became his “father-figure,” Melissa answered.” Ok, if a young child, under the age of 10 or so, loses a parent whether by death or a separation, that child will take that personally,” If (s)he would have loved me, (s)he would have staid. “
Children do not have the capacity for an intellectual understanding of death or a divorce or alike. So, deep down a trauma is formed, and often issues with bonding occur later in life. The reason for bonding issues is that fear of losing a loved one is so big,- the fear for being hurt, – that it is considered “safe” to either not bond deeply or not being able to take in the love that is offered. Also the result can be a lifelong searching for love and we tend to call that cheating, when that happens in a relationship, marriage. The society condemns “cheating” heavily because it is so painful for the other partner. It helps though, to soften that pain if you do not take it personally, how difficult that might seem to be. Sometimes there is a deep hidden loyalty to the father who had promiscuous behavior.
We tend to follow the footsteps of our parents. The loyalty to our family is deep, even though there might be very troubled situations. Family Constellations, no-not astrology! show the hidden dynamics in the family field, morphogenetic fields, and offer opportunity to rapid shifts in burdens of past experiences. I ended up doing some healing work with Melissa, which helped her detach from limiting beliefs and fears, healing the hurt deep within, feeling relieved and happier afterwards. As a result, she asked her doctor if she could stop using anti depression medication and in the few weeks after our 3 sessions she lost several pounds automatically. Gaining weight can be a way to protect yourself… Now Melissa is looking forward to her next date!