divorce


No label for divorce please!

Divorce. Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties  I used energy psychology tools which really helped. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship  and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.”  She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences  are opportunities for growth and  learning  that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be Read More


Empowerment for children

Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to think independently, geared towards making positive choices. It would help them to face and change hidden negative beliefs and blocks.  Those blocks thwart living a fulfilling life, hinder the flow of love and success in work. Often those negative beliefs run through the family for generations. If your ancestors lived in poverty and fear of persecution, most likely you carry some patterns that are still related to those situations. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, the habit to live in fear is deeply ingrained.If you cannot sleep because your bank account is kind of empty, you think that  a huge amount of money would take away your worries and you would be happy. But guess what. Many who changed from being in Read More


If you loose a parent…

Loss, grief, family constellations This morning  I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and  self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were  occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions  and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More


What about Epigenetics and Cheating

  Generational Patterns /Transferred Traumas/ Epigenetics “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?”  This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly explained, “when a child loses a parent, he is not strong enough to bear the grief and sadness. Instead the child reacts with anger.“  Anger can be seen as aggression as well.  The message that the child gets is also that of “If s/he really loved me s/he would have stayed. “ A young child doesn’t have a true understanding of what death or even loss through divorce means.  As a result, they take these events personally.


To ponder about…

Family Constellations, Epigenetics, Transgenerational traumas, To ponder about: What could be the impact on a person who lost 80 or 100+ family members by murder, even when he or she never met them? The family has a subconscious, or collective conscious field that contains the data of life-experiences, good and bad.  In addition to that, clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the Limbic brain for up to 7 generations. Did you know that world wide, in many Jewish families who somewhere are connected to what happened in the Holocaust, have a child(ren), grandchild(ren)with not explainable reasons for feelings of depression, anxieties, anger or strange illnesses.  Trauma carries on, reverberates through generations. Its like negative energy that needs to be brought to peace. The soul has many faces.  The method I use can help to disentangle and disconnect from that burden.


It made her change her mind…

  Here is an example of a session with the family constellation/foot prints mapping method. Family Constellations children. An opportunity for learning compassion. With his grandmother, 9 Year old Jimmy came for a session to my office.  I was the last therapist to try before they would put Jimmy on medication for ADHD and hyperactivity. Grandma was the caretaker for Jimmy and his sister because their parents were divorced and unable to take care of their children. Grandma spoke very negatively about her ex-daughter in law. “She‘s a horrible mother, a drug addict. She’s not even paying child-support.”  Jimmy looked away while she spoke. For me the task was to elicit some empathy from grandmother for Jimmy’s mother, who was seemingly immersed in her own problems. Being addicted to drugs never occurs because of happy reasons. Grandma was not open to hear any other vision than her own. 


Success Acceleration

Success, empowerment. Almost everybody wants to be successful. Success is actually a concept that encompasses  all areas of life. However, if you ask 10 people what success means to them you’ll get 10 totally different answers. According to Wikipedia success is: Attainment of higher social status Achievement of a goal, for example academic success   The opposite of failure   How simplistic is that! Those answers are a little superficial and mainly extrinsic. Yes, you can achieve a higher social status, that’s usually the result of academic and financial success.  What is this success? How others value and look at you?  Who cares what your neighbors think anyway? Unfortunately, yes, many do care and those thoughts keep them from being successful in some  other areas of life. The root cause is that they are depending on approval of others. I believe that feeling truly successful is something that you FEEL inside and is Read More


A deadly habit in relationships…

Relationships, marriage, epigenetics   A deadly habits in relationships …  


Gratitude for a special lady

Gratitude In the morning I printed something in Office Max and suddenly a tiny lady came over to me and said:” sorry to bother u but I have to tell you that i see u surrounded with so much light and loving energy.” “Well,  thank you” I said “I’m a therapist so I need a lot of light and loving energy!”. I was actually expecting to hear next that a dark force is coming to hurt me and all i needed to do was doing a session with her. Several “psychics” have done that before!  But no, she didn’t. She said: “I printed out several pictures I made and want to give them to you. Birds represent freedom and if u are sad look at the birds and they make you happy! Their wings show us how to escape from being hurt or treated badly”. The pictures I thought they are Read More


Anxieties?

Anxieties, panic attacks As many know: Love is healing. Even only focusing on the word, the concept of love, is sufficient to change your energy/vibrations. Isn’t that a wonderful tool? Please, if you think you “have anxieties” stop saying and believing that. It is the way of thinking in clinical psychology that comes from following the medical model; finding a symptom and fighting that symptom. The whole picture is left out in contemplating and finding causes. Headache? Take a pill. But WHY is your body creating headache? Same with anxiety. Yes, neurological reasons can be the cause. But the mental state and way of processing rather said choosing positive thoughts are incredible important in how to deal with it. Further; every thought you think is registered in your sub conscious. That becomes for 95% the motor of your behavior.  If you tell yourself you “HAVE” something your sub conscious believes Read More