Divorce. Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties I used energy psychology tools which really helped. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.” She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences are opportunities for growth and learning that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be Read More
Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to think independently, geared towards making positive choices. It would help them to face and change hidden negative beliefs and blocks. Those blocks thwart living a fulfilling life, hinder the flow of love and success in work. Often those negative beliefs run through the family for generations. If your ancestors lived in poverty and fear of persecution, most likely you carry some patterns that are still related to those situations. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, the habit to live in fear is deeply ingrained.If you cannot sleep because your bank account is kind of empty, you think that a huge amount of money would take away your worries and you would be happy. But guess what. Many who changed from being in Read More
Loss, grief, family constellations This morning I was teaching again a 3 hour class in Palm Beach State College. One of the things that became clear was the visible connection with feeling ” Fearful of Success” as a result of a criticizing childhood. Not much Self-love and self-appreciation, and feeling not-good enough were the biggest blocks with a specific, well-educated client. The shifts as were occurring today promisse trust in a more self-actualizing future. Much gratitude to all! Here below is 1 example of private sessions and workshops with the constellation-method. Generational patterns /Transferred traumas/Epigenetics. “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly Read More
Past Valentines day…a day focused on LOVE! Our focus needs to be on LOVE the whole year through! Ponder about Conditional & UNconditional LOVE…You might have had a childhood where (some) adults were cold and aloof because of the lack of love they received. What you don’t have you cannot give… Think about the impact of family trauma’s like arranged marriages. Suppose you HAD to marry someone and your heart was with another…instead of love for your partner you feel resentment…The children you would have are not totally accepted by you either, because your heart is closed…filled with pain. It is in this energy field where Family Constellations can provide healing and have love flowing again.