Generational Patterns /Transferred Traumas/ Epigenetics “My husband sometimes cheats on me, he says that he really loves me and doesn’t want to divorce, and it just drives me crazy!” Linda looked at me with deep sadness. “Did he lose a parent at a young age?” This is usually the first question I ask with these kind of matters. Why? Because as Bert Hellinger (Hellinger 2001) so greatly explained, “when a child loses a parent, he is not strong enough to bear the grief and sadness. Instead the child reacts with anger.“ Anger can be seen as aggression as well. The message that the child gets is also that of “If s/he really loved me s/he would have stayed. “ A young child doesn’t have a true understanding of what death or even loss through divorce means. As a result, they take these events personally.
Family Constellations, Epigenetics, Transgenerational traumas, To ponder about: What could be the impact on a person who lost 80 or 100+ family members by murder, even when he or she never met them? The family has a subconscious, or collective conscious field that contains the data of life-experiences, good and bad. In addition to that, clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the Limbic brain for up to 7 generations. Did you know that world wide, in many Jewish families who somewhere are connected to what happened in the Holocaust, have a child(ren), grandchild(ren)with not explainable reasons for feelings of depression, anxieties, anger or strange illnesses. Trauma carries on, reverberates through generations. Its like negative energy that needs to be brought to peace. The soul has many faces. The method I use can help to disentangle and disconnect from that burden.
Success, empowerment. Almost everybody wants to be successful. Success is actually a concept that encompasses all areas of life. However, if you ask 10 people what success means to them you’ll get 10 totally different answers. According to Wikipedia success is: Attainment of higher social status Achievement of a goal, for example academic success The opposite of failure How simplistic is that! Those answers are a little superficial and mainly extrinsic. Yes, you can achieve a higher social status, that’s usually the result of academic and financial success. What is this success? How others value and look at you? Who cares what your neighbors think anyway? Unfortunately, yes, many do care and those thoughts keep them from being successful in some other areas of life. The root cause is that they are depending on approval of others. I believe that feeling truly successful is something that you FEEL inside and is Read More
Relationships, marriage, epigenetics A deadly habits in relationships …
Gratitude In the morning I printed something in Office Max and suddenly a tiny lady came over to me and said:” sorry to bother u but I have to tell you that i see u surrounded with so much light and loving energy.” “Well, thank you” I said “I’m a therapist so I need a lot of light and loving energy!”. I was actually expecting to hear next that a dark force is coming to hurt me and all i needed to do was doing a session with her. Several “psychics” have done that before! But no, she didn’t. She said: “I printed out several pictures I made and want to give them to you. Birds represent freedom and if u are sad look at the birds and they make you happy! Their wings show us how to escape from being hurt or treated badly”. The pictures I thought they are Read More
Rejection. Lately, in the bereavement group I am leading, we spoke about “lonesomeness”. If after 50-60+ years of marriage you lose your partner, an entirely new challenge pops up; to take care of your own well being, or to get happy-up-to-certain-degree again. One lady, a socially well-known, very respected and widow of two years, said: “I have many friends, I know so many people, but no one calls me up to go out for dinner or to do something”. Another woman in the group said “That is because they are couples”. I replied, “There are so may single people, this is probably not the reason”. If you want something, you must give it first. If you want more love and kindness, just be it and live it. This also works if you want more money, you need to be generous. It is an ongoing cycle. To be wealthy, successful and Read More
If the Mayan’s were right in their calculations, then 12-21-12 is a magical day. They didn’t continue their calendar after this date, however we do! Though, the meaning could be the announcement of the destruction of “the old world” where people were fighting, judging, humiliating, hurting, alienating. It marks the start of a “new era”: the uplifting of consciousness to create a more compassionate world with the mass intention to focus on joy, love, authenticity, beauty, trust and healing.
If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.