relationships


Hidden loyalties and procrastination

Hidden loyalties, procrastination. Everyone has hidden loyalties. This is such an important topic! I will share a little bit, and explain much more, in the upcoming workshop and video that will be posted on FB and YouTube. We all have loyalties to our belief-systems, family members, siblings, ethnicities, nations, grandparents, to the suffering of our ancestors, or to groups of people we may be unaware of. Loyalty, in and of itself, is an extremely important trait in relationships, but as family constellations reveals, it is often connected to self-sabotage. It starts with our loyalty to the ones who gave us life. Today, so many women  live their passion and follow their dreams by creating their own businesses and offering wonderful services. They often live totally different lives then their mothers did. They have  more freedom of choices in many areas of life. However, many times they are not where they would Read More


Ancestors can still influence you today.

ancestors, transgenerational trauma Are you open to discover how your ancestors still might affect your behavior today? Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?) Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about. Do you realize that by living in  FEAR  your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited? If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge Read More


Constellations about the USA

Constellations USA. A few times a year I teach a 3-4 hour class in Palm Beach State College about Family and Business Constellations. Last week it was again that time. With about 15 students I did a “blind” constellation, that means  every one who was participating knew who or what he or she was representing, and no one else knew.  Who were part of representations? “Leadership Capacity” “Democrats” “Independent” “Republicans” “Trump” “Clinton” “Afro-Americans” Native-Americans” “Victim-hood” “Greed” “Honesty” etc.  I have witnessed hundreds of constellations, I have facilitated even more. The hidden dynamics, intentions and surprising discoveries in this constellation were incredibly mind-blowing, when slowly one by one founds it place and changed or moved following inner urges. This was such an extremely impressive experience… One of the powerful opportunities that this energy work reveals is the often deep hidden intentions, and of course entanglements. We have created a prayer for the Read More


Alicia, a Family Constellation

Alicia. Family Constellations “I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”. Alicia had come “to set up a family constellation” in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said. “Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”. She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed. In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away Read More


Mayan calendar. Do you think this is true?

 If the Mayan’s were right in their calculations, then 12-21-12 is a magical day. They didn’t continue their calendar after this date, however we do! Though, the meaning could be the announcement of the destruction of “the old world” where people were fighting, judging, humiliating, hurting, alienating. It marks the start of a “new era”: the uplifting of consciousness to create a more compassionate world with the mass intention to focus on joy, love, authenticity, beauty, trust and healing.   Whatever beliefs you may hold about this date, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the power of the positive choices everyone can make every day. Choices are like the sprouts of the seeds rooted in soil. The soil however, needs to be rich and healthy for the best results. Soil and soul differ just one letter. What they have in common is that they need to be healthy. As you Read More


“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…” When the presence of absence is felt… A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective

“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…”  When the  presence of absence is felt…  A Holocaust history as shown in a Family Constellation perspective.  www.CarlaVanWalsum.com   Boca Raton, Florida. Family Constellations When, because of war or other disasters, many family members are killed or perished, surviving members can often ‘feel’ their absence even though they have never met. Family Constellations show that identification can occur with one or more dead family members quite unexpectedly. We are all part of a so called ‘Family-Soul’; an intelligence which encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over the generations. Those who belong to a particular Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, grandparents, great grandparents and so on, including anyone who has been excluded from this family system (i.e. rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system Read More


The Adoption Triad: Soul Searching, People Searching

The Adoption Triad: Hidden Truths Behind the Happy Ending            The word adoption conjures joyful images of a new baby, dreams fulfilled and promises of a better life for baby. There are more than 1.5 million adoptees in the United States; adoption touches one in fifteen of us.  What few have had the courage to talk about until recently is that behind many “happy endings,” there are painful realities and souls in need of healing.


No Blame, No Shame…only Choices for Brightness

blame, shame In the past decades much psychotherapy was focused on blaming the parents when a child, regardless what age, had problems of thriving. In many cases, that did not contribute to more  inner peace, and harmony in the family. NOW there is a common belief that when issues are arising, the blame for the problems is put on the ABSENCE of a parent. Either way, blaming does not create compassion, healing or insight, only guilt, shame and victim-hood. The absence of an abusive parent could be a bliss as well, the less violence in a child’s life, the better, right? Key of the issue is that when the CHILD is helped to heal negative experiences and is  guided to learn to forgive,  to be empathic  and taught to LOVE and APPRECIATE him/herself really, those energies pre-pave the path to a healthy, happy and thriving personality. Every experience can be Read More


How to get your needs met without getting angry?

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If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each others needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else.
The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.


Criticism….

We have been taught, at least most of us, to develop a sharp, critical mind. The sharper, the better. We were validated if we were really good at it. It is this mindset that is detrimental for happy relationships. If we use our criticism, masking our real feelings of disappointment, hurt and unmet needs, we become real fault-finders. Hard to live and to deal with! If we CHOOSE to become a LOVE finder, focusing on the beauty in others, our level of happiness improves and elevates drastically… Practice it..and enjoy the results…