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January 2015 - Carla Van Walsum, Ph.D. | Holistic Psychology

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Do not take it personally!

  • Heartbased, Conscious Parenting / Relationships

Do not take it personally! Really?  No one to blame? Is it THEIR stuff? One of the tools that contributes to personal happiness is this quote from Don Miquel Ruiz:…

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    About Me
    About Me

    Carla Van Walsum was trained in the Netherlands in Clinical Psychology, Holistic Therapies, and holds a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Counseling. She is the founder and owner of HeartBased Solutions, a holistic practice for individuals, couples, and families.

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    Carla Van Walsum Ph.D. NVC
    Do not make assumptions. Do not take it personally Do not make assumptions. Do not take it personally! Tabitha and Carla in conversation
    Whatever relationship you are in, or have been in, Whatever relationship you are in, or have been in,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ choose not to identify yourself as a victim.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Even though you might have really suffered - a lot.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Why?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Feeling a victim blocks all healing. Acknowledge what happened, and give yourself empathy and compassion. Definitely.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You can choose to grow through negative experiences. Not easy! But often doable.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Relationships are not as simple by just saying that the other is "BAD" and I am "GOOD".⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There is always more to any situation than we see.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It might be that you showed up in their life⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ as a gift of teaching them love and kindness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Maybe for healing.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But, he or she wasn't able to see or receive your gift.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Blaming the one who didn't fulfill our needs is easy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But it is also important to have clarity about what was going on.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Never accept violence, in one or another way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ No one is entirely bad. No one is entirely perfect.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The challenges we face in relationships can teach us important lessons.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We all want to be loved, in one way or another.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sending love, compassion, and kindness to the ones who need it most, will elevate us and heal us at least partially.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #gratitudeattitude #gratitudequotes #soulhealing #reparenting #strongwomenquotes #relationshipcoach #relationshipcoaching #psychologyfacts #emotionalhealing #psychologytoday #loveadvice #healthyrelationships #Relationshipsgoals #cheating #nonviolentcommunication #couplestuff #Epigenetics #healingquotes #relationshipadviceforwomen #relationshipquotes #breakups #breakupquotes #datingadviceforwomen #datinglife #relationshipquotes #couples #grief #TherapyThoughts #emotionalneglect #healtogether
    No caption is needed. Those words speak for themse No caption is needed. Those words speak for themselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .#growthmindsetcoach #selfworth #childhoodtrauma #loveishealing #selflovequotes #selfcareroutine #nourishyoursoul #selfloveclub #selfhealers #anxietycoach, #reparenting #breathworkhealing, #selflovecoaching, #emotionalhealing #feelingfree, #findyourpeace #psychotherapists #inheritedtrauma #generationaltrauma #transgenerationaltrauma #berthellinger #familyconstellations #soulconnections #Holisticpsychology #epigenetics #collectivetrauma#systemicfamilyconstellations #positivepsychology #kindnessquotes #neuroplasticity
    💓In our romantic relationships, we can learn mu 💓In our romantic relationships, we can learn much about ourselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It's ok to work on self-improvement, self-care, and self-healing while you are in a relationship.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, you want to heal first before you move on to the next relationship. Often people move on quickly or are encouraged to move on quickly! because being alone doesn't seem the desired option for them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⁉️But isn't there a saying: you are your own best friend?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Being alone for a while is great to get to know yourself better.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And that is imperative if your last relationship(s) had difficulties you want to understand better, not repeat, and actually reset your love blueprint. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🧬 We often have inherited communication patterns that do not contribute to much joy and happiness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We can choose to learn and grow and elevate ourselves into a higher consciousness of love and compassion. 🌹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Take the challenge! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Love is the answer.⠀ Which of the 3 habits do you face in your relationship? Comment below please, I love yo hear from you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . . #Happyrelationships #loveadvice #healthyrelationships #Relationshipsgoals⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #cheating #nonviolentcommunication #couplestuff #loveadvice #wrongrelationship #healthyrelationships #Relationshipsgoals #cheating #nonviolentcommunication #couplestuff #Epigenetics #womenentrepreneurship #relationshipadviceforwomen #lovelanguage #breakups #dating #datingadviceforwomen
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