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April 2016 | Carla Van Walsum, Ph.D. | Holistic Psychology

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Empowerment for children

  • Heartbased, Conscious Parenting / Self-Confidence/-Love

Empowerment children, family constellations Imagine that this quote would be taught at school. If children would learn that they can choose different thoughts about any situation! That they would learn to…

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    About Me
    About Me

    Carla Van Walsum was trained in the Netherlands in Clinical Psychology, Holistic Therapies, and holds a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Counseling. She is the founder and owner of HeartBased Solutions, a holistic practice for individuals, couples, and families.

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    Holistic Psychology & Coaching
    Toxic people? This is what you can do:. The term “toxic people” is definitely not one I love or encourage people to use. 😔 Behind that phrase I hear the pain and frustration people have experienced during situations where others may have misused their power towards them. Maybe judged them harshly, or just attacked them verbally. Calling someone “toxic”, shows that you don’t feel like being near them. 😒 However, we cannot always escape situations where you’ll meet challenging people, so it is helpful to learn some strategies to protect yourself from being hurt or feeling uncomfortable. 🎉💛🎉
    A beautiful reminder! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A beautiful reminder! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes it almost feels difficult to do all this. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes it feels artificial to practice gratitude.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That is also a signal that you need to look deeper into yourself, "why am feeling this." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We cannot just be positive, loving, and compassionate by a commando.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You need to really feel it, authentically, will it help you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Meditation, even 10 minutes, is a way to connect with yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you open your heart for more love, it's easier to be more compassionate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There is no judgment here. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We humans are complex, yet also simple. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It's a journey about learning and growth. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You know that already.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Have a happy weekend y'all! #findyourself #selfworth #selfcaretips #strongertogether #loveishealing #selflove #selflovequotes #selfcareroutine #dailycalm #nourishyoursoul #selfcare #selfcarecoach #selfloveclub #selflovematters #youareenough #gratitudejournal #selfcompassion #selfimage #radicalselflove #selflovejourney #selfacceptance #mentalhealthawareness #selflover #confidencequotes #empathymatters #careercoach⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #gratitudeattitude #gratitudequotes #soulhealing #reparenting
    If we look at people beyond the labels, disorders, If we look at people beyond the labels, disorders, and qualifications, we enter another field.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In this field, this knowing field, we face family systems, where we can see we are part of a bigger picture.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Psychological science, unfortunately, mainly focuses on what can be seen and be proved. However, the psyche, the patterns running through generations, the traumas inherited through generations, our inner life, are not part of the psychological science.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because, we cannot see the psyche, the soul, or inner being.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Psychology literally means: “Knowledge of the Soul”.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Today, the concept “soul” is left out of the equation. It’s only the behavior we can measure. And where does the behavior emanate from? 🧐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When we look closer into family systems, we see that much is hidden, that many patterns perpetuate through generations, and that loyalty can carry the hidden traumas by the future generations. That actually is proven by science, like the work of Dr. Rachel Yehudah.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are methods that reveal where the entanglements are hidden, such as Family Constellation, The Emotion Code etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When we look into the souls of children, we want to acknowledge their beauty, their preciousness, their uniqueness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That means we need to move beyond the “good and bad” thinking. It’s all relative.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We need to ignore and transform the judging, qualifying, ego-driven projections.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Love and compassion are extremely powerful forces.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ With love and compassion, we can teach all we want. Our children will love it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ They will learn and grow into healthy, caring, and responsible adults.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This is the title of a book by Bert Hellinger. ❣️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .
    A deadly habit in relationships is being (excessiv A deadly habit in relationships is being (excessively) angry paired with wanting to win the “battle”. That usually creates a lot of pain and agony, for yourself and your loved ones.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Do you want to be right, or do you want to understand yourself and the ones who are dear to you?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Can you move beyond the I AM RIGHT! ...and look from a different perspective other than your own?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Or do you go for peace of mind, and speak from a humble, respectful place? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That’s often so difficult if we are upset, right.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you are angry or upset, it means your needs are not met and your thoughts and feelings tell and show that. Those emotions can even come from very deep places in your subconsciousness, triggering past experiences that are stored. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But even though your needs might not be met, does it entitle anyone to curse, yell and scream? It is such a waste if the feeling of powerlessness takes over and if we do things we later might regret. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What helps is living with the intention to not hurt anyone.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What helps too is doing some self-reflection - what is my part in it?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What even helps more is learning Nonviolent Communication!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I call it Effective Communication, and it is such a help to create peace, within yourself, but also in relationships.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Instead of diving people into "Good or bad", "Narcissistic or victim thereof", or "Toxic and sensitive personalities", all that labeling doesnt really help to bring us closer, to create inclusion, and to work on a kinder world.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are other ways of dealing with that. Want to know how? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Just book a free 30 minutes consultation.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This is a topic dear to my heart, so I would love to share with you more!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Love prevails... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .
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